


Never Alone

by SkyWasMadeofAmethyst



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Addiction, Anger, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Issues, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Mental Illness, Opening Up, Stress, Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 16:17:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13978860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyWasMadeofAmethyst/pseuds/SkyWasMadeofAmethyst
Summary: You're having a bad day. You find yourself snapping at just about everyone including your boyfriend Dan. Your best friend Arin is left to get to the bottom of what has you so down.





	Never Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request I was given on Tumblr. I did my best with it. I have had a hard past week and I'm just trying to seep back into the right mindset to write well. I hope it's not too disappointing.

You gritted your jaw as you stared down at the long list of unedited videos on your computer. At the rate this was going you would be here all-night long. You had known of course that agreeing to fill in as editor, until a replacement for Barry could be found, wouldn’t be an easy job, but you were already running on less sleep than usual and you weren’t having the best go of things right now due a conversation you’d had with your brother the night before.

Today had started out crappy. You’d arrived into work late to find a huge workload in front of you. The computer was being finicky which meant that you had spent all morning trying to figure out just what was wrong before you could even jump into editing.

Now as you found yourself ready to work through your lunch hour it was becoming clear that your day wasn’t going to get any better anytime soon.

You were doing all you could to keep your stress levels down, but as the day wore on you were becoming more and more emotionally raw.

You stood up from your computer daring to make your way to the break room to get a fresh cup of coffee.

You filled your cup to the brim pouring what was probably too much sugar into the mix hoping that the sugar high plus a caffeine high would fend off the headache you felt forming in the back of your brain.

Ross made the mistake of approaching you not taking notice of the tension in your body as he spoke. “Did you get that video I sent done yet?”

“Clearly not.” You grumbled resisting the urge to run and run. Couldn’t you have five seconds of peace?

“When do you think it’ll be done? I sent it two days ago.” Ross commented still not picking up on the fact that you were on edge.

You couldn’t stop yourself from slamming your coffee cup down thankful that you’d drank enough for the hot liquid not to splash out from the cup. “I’ll get it done when I get it done Ross. Hounding me isn’t going to make me work any faster!”

Dan and Arin entered the room a frown crossing the men’s features as they watched this outburst. You definitely weren’t the type to lose your cool like that. You were always the patient one. You were always so laid back.

Dan sighed not helping but to feel a little guilty for allowing you to take on such a huge workload. You hadn’t been editing for long, not on the scale that editing for the Grump office required. Sure, you had Matt and Ryan to help out, but still it was a lot to take on.

You had only agreed to this job as a favor to Arin and him. You had known Arin since you were children. You had made the move to LA years ago and with the recent loss of your job Arin had offered you some work around the Grump Space.

Mostly you had just helped out Barry on occasion, before he left to pursue his own projects. For the most part though your job had been to help out around the office, send out emails, answer the phones, pass out mail. It had just been office work, nothing too stressful.

Dan knew the workload had been getting to you, but you were just too stubborn to admit that you needed the help.

Dan approached you attempting to soothe your stress before Ross had a chance to reply to your statement. “Hey, babe. Are you okay? It’s okay…just take a deep breath.”

You let out a huff Dan’s soothing doing little to calm you. It wasn’t just the workload. It was this entire stupid day. You were sick of everyone hassling you. You just wanted a second to think in peace and quiet without worrying about editing deadlines or your mother or anything else.

Barry would have never taken this long to get the job done. Maybe you had made a mistake taking this job on? You weren’t nearly as good as Barry had been at this. You had only agreed to take over helping out with editing as a favor to Dan and Arin.

You were supposed to be in the office. You couldn’t edit. What had you been thinking? You couldn’t take this workload along with everything that had happened last night.

You spoke unable to stop yourself from snapping at your poor boyfriend as the stress threatened to boil over and cause you to burst into tears. “I don’t need to breathe. I just need everyone to back off for five seconds and let me drink my freaking coffee in peace! I just need to be left alone!”

Dan stepped back his eyes wide as you stomped off. He moved to follow you but found himself stuck in place lost as what to say or do. This wasn’t like you at all.

You were always so soft spoken, so sweet natured. You never snapped at anyone, even when they probably deserved it. You were always the type to kill people with kindness meaning you were way too sweet for your own good to everyone no matter who it was. You treated everyone with compassion and patience. It was one of the things Dan loved about you.

What was going on to make you so out of character? If the job wasn’t stressing you out then what was it? Why wouldn’t you tell him what had gotten you so worked up?

Arin gave Dan a pat on the shoulder soothing his friend. “I’ll talk to her. I’ll figure out what’s going on.”

Dan frowned wanting to argue that he should be the one to talk to you. He was your boyfriend after all. Why weren’t you opening up to him though? He was your boyfriend, you should be able to talk to him about things like this. What was so bad that you hadn’t told him what was going on?

Dan and you had been together for a few years now. Arin had been the one to introduce you and it had been love at first sight. You usually told Dan everything. You always shared things with one another both the good and the bad. It was so unlike you to keep things from him. If something was bothering you why couldn’t you tell him?

Dan stewed over this question as he watched Arin leave the room quick to follow you.

This day sucked, everything sucked right now. You needed to escape before you made things worst.

You felt pathetic as you found yourself hiding underneath the desk. You were tempted to light a cigarette, but you had quit smoking years ago. Besides Arin had a pretty strict no smoking policy in the office.

You cringed as the door opened a familiar pair of sweatpants covered legs coming into view stopping directly in front of you.

Arin spoke a small chuckle leaving his lips. “[Y/N] hon, you can’t stay down there forever. I mean you could move in if you wanted…. but then you’ll have to get your mail forwarded and I don’t think I qualify as a landlord since I’m renting the office space.”

“I just want to stay down here until things stop being so stupid and sucky.” You whined unable to stop yourself from sounding so pitiful. The stress was making you weepy.

Arin knelt down in front of you a frown crossing his features as he noticed your rosy cheeks and damp eyes. “I hate to break it to you kid, but the world will always be stupid and sucky.”

“I’m not a kid…I’m only two years younger than you.” You grumbled wiping your eyes with your hoodie sleeve causing Arin to shake his head as he fished out a tissue from the desk top.

You took the tissue from him a sigh escaping Arin’s lips as he spoke. “Come on, talk to me. What has you biting people’s heads off? You’re getting a bit hostile hon. That’s not you. You don’t freak out like this.”

You sighed unable to will yourself to come out from under the desk just yet. You were so embarrassed. Arin hadn’t had to give you a job here to begin with. You had let your personal issues boil over and you had lashed out like a giant two-year-old.

You should have known that Arin would follow you to check on you. You just hoped he wasn’t here to fire you.

Arin and you had always been close. You had known one another since you were kids back in Florida. Your older brother had been Arin’s age, but somehow Arin and you had been the ones to become friends. You had both loved art, anime, and video games. The friendship had formed quickly and to be honest at times it felt like Arin had been more of a big brother to you than your own brother.

You let out another sigh staring down at the damp tissue in your hand. “Gabe called last night.”

Arin frowned not having really heard your older brother’s name in years. Though Gabe and he had been the same age over time they had drifted apart. Gabe had gotten into a lot of trouble. Gabe’s and your home life hadn’t been the most stable growing up and Gabe had run the second he had the chance. Since then he’d been in and out of jail and the last thing Arin had heard Gabe was trying rehab for the millionth time.

“Is he in trouble again?” Arin dared to ask though he already had a feeling he knew the answer.

You frowned your face threatening to crumple as you tried not to fall to pieces. “It’s my mom…she’s, she’s struggling. You know we had her hospitalized a while back.”

Arin sighed knowing the entire story. Your mother had never been well. She had struggled with mental illness all her life. She refused to take her medication making her unstable at best. That on top of her drinking problem and drug use had made her unable to really function on her own. She had a stroke not long ago leaving her mental capabilities less than ideal. 

For the best of her health you had signed the papers to have her placed in assisted living not too long ago. It had been obvious that she wasn’t able to care for herself. The nursing home had been your only option.

Arin’s heart had always hurt when he thought of your mother. You were so young, too young to have to make such a huge decision.

Your childhood had been so dysfunctional. Arin had even been aware of just how dysfunctional it had been back when you were children. As you had grown older he had taken a bit of a protective role when it came to you.

You didn’t have anyone else to look out for you. So, in a way Arin had found himself trying to become the older brother you had never had.

“What’s happened?” He asked grabbing another tissue as you began to completely fall apart.

You shook your head sniffling as you tried not to sob like a giant baby. You always tried to be strong. You didn’t like to cry, not even in front of Arin. “She freaking bit someone…She bit a nurse and now they’re threatening to kick her out. They’re saying she’s a danger to staff. She’s already been kicked out of one place due to her outbursts. If this home won’t keep her I’m going to have to send her to a freaking state hospital. You know those places are total shitholes.”

You paused shaking your head reluctantly allowing yourself to let it all out. Arin had always been good at listening, even if it wasn’t his job to play therapist. “I don’t know what to do. Gabe called me at one am last night asking what I was going to do. It’s so shitty. He’s in Florida. I’m here. He’s the oldest. Why does it have to fall on me? It’s not fair. I’ve been throwing most of my paycheck at keeping her in that place. Her insurance doesn’t cover the copay for it. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so lost…I barely slept last night, and then I came to work late to find all this work. It’s too much Arin. I’m not good enough to take it on. I’m not enough.”

Arin held you against him a heavy sigh leaving him as he struggled with what to say. What was there to say really? “I know kid…it’s not fair. I’m sorry it’s fallen on you. You are good enough to take on the workload. I wouldn’t have asked you to play editor if I didn’t think you could do it. You just have a lot going on right now. That doesn’t mean you aren’t enough.”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone.” You grumbled against Arin’s chest allowing yourself to sound as helpless and as hopeless as you actually did feel.

Arin pulled back his hands on your shoulders remaining firm as he tried to give you his best pep talk. “You’re going to breathe [Y/N] Take some deep breaths and don’t get so lost in what you’re feeling right now. There is nothing you can do about it right this second. She’s in Florida and you’re here. Once you feel like you can breathe you’re going to call that nursing home and I will personally donate whatever it takes to a fund to throw at the staff…. enough money to keep the staff from kicking her out…. I bet Dan will be glad to help as well, Suzy too. If worse comes to worse Suzy and I will personally escort you down to Florida to take care of all of this. You know you aren’t alone in this. I will never let you be alone in any of this.”

You sniffled remembering how short-tempered you’d gotten with Dan earlier. He had just been trying to comfort you like the amazing guy he always was and you had bitten his head off. You had screwed up. Why didn’t you tell him about all of this before you let it all boil over and turn you into a big mess. You were probably the worst girlfriend on the planet.

You opened your mouth to protest Arin’s offer, but you didn’t have a chance as Arin spoke again clearly predicting your next move. “No telling me no. I know it’s not my responsibility, but I won’t let you take this on all alone. You know I’ve always loved you like the little sister I never had. I’ve always looked out for you and that isn’t going to stop anytime soon kid.”

“I love you too…even if you keep calling me kid…I’m not that much younger than you.” You remarked earning a playful nudge in the shoulder from Arin.

He spoke as he finally took ahold of your hand forcing you out from under the desk as you both stood up. “Lie down and get some rest kid. You look like hell.”

“You always know what to say to feed my ego Arin.” You remarked a small chuckle leaving your lips as you followed Arin’s orders lying down on a nearby sofa.

Things would be okay. You weren’t alone in this.

…………………………………………

You weren’t shocked by how tense Dan seemed as you approached him that night. You had slept the day away needing to recover emotionally and physically.

You had tried to approach Dan a few times this afternoon in hopes of making thing right, but before you had a chance to say a thing he pretty much disappeared from sight.

You knew he was ignoring you. You were doing your best not to get upset. He was just hurt and upset over your behavior earlier. He had the right to be upset.

He had tried to comfort you and you had lashed out at him.

Dan kept his face stony avoiding your gaze as he gathered his things from his desk. You approached him giving him a sheepish smile. “Do you want to get something for dinner? My treat…. Thai maybe.”

Dan knew he sounded bitter as he spoke. “I thought you wanted to be left alone.”

“I did…I mean…I needed some space to cool down…. Arin talked me down and forced me to take a nap. I know I was a butthead.” You tried to explain not shocked that Dan sounded so put out.

You knew you had been so ill-tempered in response to his attempts to soothe you. He had been trying to be your support system and you had acted like a giant jerk.

Dan resisted the urge to smile at the term butthead. He couldn’t get over the fact that you had apparently opened up to Arin so easily. Why hadn’t you come to him with your problems? Dan was your boyfriend. If something was upsetting you then he should be the first to know.

He knew he sounded a bit like a jerk himself as he spoke his voice sharp. “I’m glad Arin could help. Apparently, you can’t open up to me.”

You cringed at this statement it hitting you that he was upset over more than your foul mood today. Of course, he was upset that you hadn’t come to him. You should have opened up to him first.

He moved to leave the room ignoring the voice in the back of his head that told him he was being childish. You placed a gentle hand on his arm stopping him in his tracks as you spoke. “Can I open up to you…. even if I fucked up by not doing it sooner?”

Dan sighed mentally telling himself to put his frustration aside. You were opening up now. He should hear you out.

He sat down at his desk you remaining in front of him as you began to explain. “You know…you know how my mom is? What my family is like…I mean what my childhood was like?”

Dan furrowed his brow suddenly feeling like a big giant jackass. Something had happened with your family and he was pouting because you hadn’t felt comfortable in opening up right away.

You spoke again before he had a chance to say a word. “She’s…You know she’s in a home because she can’t be out on her own…I mean she was homeless there for a while before I had her put into a home. She’s, well you know she lashes out a lot, gets mean…violent too. She, well she bit a nurse and my brother called me last night telling me that the home wants to kick her out….and I…I guess I’m just crumbling under trying to figure out what to do. I just, I hate that it’s falling on me. I don’t know what to do. I just wanted to come into work today and pretend everything was normal, but I guess the stress of work and everything with my mom just built up until I made an ass out of myself.”

Dan took you by shock pulling you down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you shushing you as you allowed yourself to fall apart. This was what you had needed. You had needed him to hold you and make it seem okay.

You spoke sniffling your voice cracking. “I’m sorry I di-didn’t tell you. I-I-I’m a bad girlfriend.”

“No, you aren’t. You aren’t a bad girlfriend. It’s just a lot for you to deal with baby.” Dan tried to soothe you.

You shook your head unable to accept his reassurances. “I should have talked to you first thing this morning. I kept it all bottled up like an idiot. You’re my boyfriend. I’m supposed to tell you when things are bothering me…That’s part of being in a relationship. Trusting each other to open up about things like this. I’m so sorry. You tried to be good to me and I just acted like a nutcase. I thought I was all alone, but I wasn’t. You were right here and I didn’t see it.”

Dan let out a small sigh pressing a kiss to your temple as he began to rub your back attempting to calm you and show you that he forgave you. “You have nothing to apologize for. I don’t care that you acted like a nutcase. Everyone deserves the opportunity to act like a nutcase sometimes. We’ll just take it as a lesson okay? Next time something is bothering you, I don’t care how big or how small it is, you can talk to me. You’re right, you’re not alone. I’m right here. I’m always going to be here. You know why right?”

He pressed a kiss to your lips as he spoke again answering his own question his voice still soft and soothing. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You replied your eyes closing as you allowed yourself to continue to practically melt against his touch soaking up the comfort you felt from him.

Dan pressed a kiss to your temple his voice still soothing. “It’s going to be okay. Whatever you decide to do about your mom just remember that you aren’t alone. I’ll never let you take on anything alone.”

You sniffled nodding your head at this statement.

You weren’t alone. Dan and your friends would never let you be alone.


End file.
